The Ingredients of You and Me by Nina Bocci

Author:Nina Bocci
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2020-04-27T16:00:00+00:00

* * *

“What the fuck were you thinking?” I howled the moment I sank into the passenger seat of Nick’s truck. Charlotte’s car had been filled with boxes of vases, Mancini had been busy cleaning up her kitchen, and Emma had been headed in the opposite direction, which meant Nick was my only option for a ride.

Which was perfect because it gave me a minute to unload on him.

“Why would you offer yourself up for this?”

Nick white-knuckled the steering wheel, staring straight ahead. “Nick?”

“You’re making me crazy. You being here again is literally driving me mad. I can’t think straight,” he said very matter-of-factly, as if me being there wasn’t weighing heavily on me too. He continued staring out the windshield as we sat in the driveway.

“Let me get this straight. Me being here is driving you insane, and your bright idea is to spend more time with me? I’m in the Twilight Zone.”

“Not insane. Mad, crazy, wild—I can’t get my head on straight with you here again, Parker. It’s brought up a lot of—”

“Don’t you dare say feelings!”

“They’re not all good feelings! Most of them are bad. I’m angry that you’re here. I’m sad that you’re here. I’m confused that you’re fucking here!”

I yelled right back. “Then why the hell did you volunteer?!” I couldn’t take him not looking at me anymore so I shoved his shoulder as I shouted. “Why, Nick? Why would you willingly spend time with me if I’m making you crazy?”

“Because I want to spend time with you. Jesus Christ, Parker. I’ve been trying to see you since you got here and you keep running away.”

I slumped back against the seat. “Where was this urge to see me in November, huh? When you cut off contact like I was some random woman you met on Tinder, not someone who spent months with you in every way imaginable?”

“Parker, I wanted to—”

“Just drive me home, Nick. I don’t want to talk about it now.”

He laughed. “Of course you don’t, Parker. You don’t want to talk about anything that’s not pretty and wrapped in a goddamn bow.”

“Now’s not the time for this.”

“Why the hell not? What are you waiting for? Jillian isn’t here. Mancini, Emma, Charlotte, or any random witnesses aren’t here to watch us implode all over again. Let’s get this over with.”

I turned, pointing an angry finger at him. “Want to know why? I’ll tell you. I wanted to talk about this months ago, and where the hell were you? You dropped me like a bad habit. You don’t get to dictate when we talk about all the crap that went down. We do it on my terms, and right now, I don’t have it in me to go down a memory lane that’s covered in spikes.” I took a quick breath before continuing. “What you need to know is that you hurt me. Whether it was intentional or not, you did it and you haven’t apologized for it. I need that. I need to know that you even hazarded an errant thought about what you did to me over the past two months.

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